Jez wake up!
Jez rolled over onto his side and farted. His black cat Pitra pounced on his body and began pummeling his blue faded duvet in an over enthusiastic deliberate caty way, obviously delighted with the fart, and its smell, sure that breakfast was imminent.
Jez made a murmuring groan and Pitra lept onto his face, danced in a circle over his head and pillow and shoved her bum in his face purring.
“Friggin hell cat” Jez shouted spitting and rolling, whacking the cat sideways onto her back where she sprung to her feet and continued with her morning greeting. “God you stink cat…where the hell did you sleep last night?”
The yellow stained tattered curtains flapped in and out of the bedroom window. Gusts of wind wafted clouds of ash around the room.
“God its bloody freezing”
……….
bloody hell..that’s so believable!! I can picture the dive he lives in xx